Chickenlips Knitting

"Juliet of the Spirits" is my original design. It's named for my favorite song by the B-52's.

The garment was knit flat in 2 pieces and seamed at the sides and shoulders. A band of seed stitch separates the A-line skirt from the bodice, and seed stitch edgings were picked up and knit using smaller needles.

The p's and q's:

Yarn: Dale of Norway Svale in Chinese Red - 12 balls

Needles: US 5 (body) and US 4 (neckline and sleeve edgings)

Size: to fit my 3x girth!

I haven't written up the pattern, but I will add the project to Ravelry when I get a chance. Maybe I'll wear it to knit night when I a) fulfill my seemingly unending in-law obligations and b) can stop crying about the stupid stuff that's going on in my life right now. This is the third day I've been off-and-on weepy, and my daughter's getting really sick of it. So am I; however, I don't have any tranqs on hand at the moment.

It's not that I want to depress everybody; I just wanted to feel good about finishing this project and have my husband here to photograph me wearing it. As big as I am, I'd still put on makeup and fix my hair and pose in front of some trees or something. I'm proud of this design and just want to rock out with my bad self. However, since Sock Summit I've seen Mr. Stitchjones for exactly one day, and I miss him. He's away on business the entire month of August. Next Wednesday we will have been married 20 years, but I won't get to see him. We have to postpone our celebration/second honeymoon for a month.

I know that isn't enough to make me slide into despair, but unfortunately that's only the tip of the iceberg. Don't feel obligated to read on, really. I can tell you right now there ain't much good news in this post. I just don't have anywhere else to air all these little things that combine to make one huge bummer.

Our niece's memorial is Sunday, the day she would have turned 24. It's in Spokane, so I have to drive there tomorrow. It's about a 7 hr. drive, which I know I can handle, I'm just not used to it. Getting there wouldn't be a problem, except for the fact that we have some legal issues going on which has created a money shortage. Because of this, I am behind on Stitchjones monthly bills and have temporarily suspended business advertising, so that I can get caught up. Having to drop everything and run up to Spokane (for the third time this year) is going to put me behind on wholesale orders, which means my customers will have to wait longer for their yarn and I will have to wait longer to get paid the balance due on their down payments.

Are you beginning to pick up on the domino theory at work here?

In order to be able to buy gas and incidentals for this unexpected trip, I had to borrow a small amount of cash from my elderly parents. (Humiliating.) My father, who is the type of guy who'll give you the shirt off his back and throw in his wristwatch too, offered without hesitation, and at first I said no but then I realized I had no other means. But then, my mother started in with the third degree about how we handle our finances (she doesn't know about the legal stuff) and declared my business to be a failure. (Thanks Mom, I love you too.) So another hurt on top of 54 years of guff from dear old Mom, added to the constant cash shortage, added to the grief of losing our young niece (whose father is the self-centered, overdramatic brother-in-law I can't stand) has me a teary mess. I'm just trying to hang on and make it through the next three days.

See, I told ya it wasn't good.

I have made lots of mistakes, but when I search my heart, I have no malicious intent toward anyone, truthfully. So I don't think it's karma. It's just life, which is quite difficult right now and I need to be honest about that or go insane. And I've made enough trips around the sun to know that eventually, it'll get different.

(I can haz change now?)

Stitchjones at the Crossroads?

I mentioned temporary cancellation of my advertising, which means that after this month you won't see Stitchjones ads on Ravelry or Google Ad-words. At least, not until things get back on track. Since Sock Summit, retail sales have fallen off, and I'm convinced it's a combination of the following: a) knitters "caught their limit" or went over-budget at SS09; b) the economy sucks the butt of a dead woodchuck right now; and c) there are more sources and options for yarn than ever before. That includes yarn stores, both brick/mortar and internet; indie dyers, Etsy, what have you. These provide fiber enthusiasts with a vast number of choices.

So I'm tinkering with the idea of sharply curtailing my retail business and concentrating my efforts on being a wholesaler. I have three wholesale orders in progress, about 150 skeins of yarn total, plus one order in the pipeline and 1 prospective new customer. I also have 2 sock clubs coming up in 2010 and other opportunities to put my dyeing abilities to work. This is just thinking in cyberspace; I haven't made any firm decisions yet except about advertising for the time being. Given my emotional state at the moment, I know this is not the time to make further business decisions!

***

Whew. I've unburdened myself a lot, and just by writing it all down I feel a little lighter. I sometimes think that I should never reveal the fact that I have problems, that things are sometimes less than perfect (or sometimes downright suck). However, I'm too old to pretend to be Polly Perfect, and most importantly, none of this is going to stop me from doing the things I love, or cost me the loss of people I love. I went to spinning yesterday--they let me hang out and knit with them, even though I'm not a spinner yet--and got support and hugs. It helped a lot to know I'm valued and that my friends care. If you've stayed with me to this point, please know that you're appreciated and loved.

I'll post next week. Believe it or not, out of my personal anguish this week have come gorgeous new yarn colors! Now I understand a little better that thing about great art being born of suffering.

# posted by Sharon @ 5:04 PM