Chickenlips Knitting

My friends, for once I've got to be absolutely serious, with no pictures or jokes, and blog with naked honesty. I may be a lot sicker than I thought, although I don't yet have a firm diagnosis. I developed a breast infection a week ago, which caused my fever, chills, headache and general yuckiness. The antibiotics I received made most of my symptoms go away, but the breast itself didn't get better. After another visit to the doctor, I had an ultrasound and mammogram, and the radiologist suspects breast cancer. I'm going to a surgeon on Monday.

Three and a half years ago, I had something called "DCIS" (ductal carcinoma in situ) which was classified as Stage Zero breast cancer. I had a lumpectomy and radiation, and knew somewhere in the back of my mind that the cancer could recur, but still when the doctor told me, I was floored. I thought I'd make it to at least five years. Even though I don't have a diagnosis as of yet, I've been educating myself about something particularly nasty called Inflammatory Breast Cancer, the symptoms of which I am bearing.

This story will unfold agonizingly slowly, I'm sure, having been on the cancer circuit before--nobody in the medical community wants to get sued, so they're being vague. At least when I see the surgeon day after tomorrow, I'm armed with some information, and know what questions to ask. My husband arrived home tonight from a business trip, and he'll be with me at the doctor visit. My concern in posting all this is that I've wanted to keep my blog about knitting, and other life's pleasures--for me, it's a nice little "space between," and one of the cardinal rules I strive to follow as a writer is "only write what you would want to read." I don't want this to become the Terms of Endearment of knitting blogs, for cryin' out loud! Yes, my craziness includes the following imaginary reader reaction: "Damn, Chickenlips Knitting turned into a cancer blog! I won't be looking at that one any more." But, pardon the cliche, it's a whole new ball game.